Metamorphosis

Just when the butterfly thought she was about to die she became a butterfly

I am changing.

It is painful.

I embrace myself.

No more resistance.


I finally understand what it means to change. People/Friends who came into my life were there for a reason and time has come to move on. Their purpose in my life has been fulfilled. And so I let them go. Situations have occurred which made life stifling, with no wiggle room to breathe and freely enjoy God's green earth. That is not healthy and they too, have to go!


Unlike a caterpillar which can become a butterfly only once in his lifetime; I have experienced many episodes of metamorphosis and will continue to have more. Over the years I have learnt to accept each change; to embrace them; which is a segue into another phase of my maturity.

Utopia moment - I will live my life free and unencumbered from man made rules and deadlines which serve to restrict my existence. I refuse to be bogged down with petty details, taxes and keeping track of expenses. These nuances have no place in my life and annoy me to no end. It is now time to move into my cocoone and begin my transformation into the life that I want to live.

Manna

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost. Count you many bessings name them one by one and it will suprise you what the Lord has done

I learnt this song over thiry five years ago. It can be found in a small hymnal entitled Sankeys Sacred Songs and Solos. I would sing it lustily along with the church members. The adults would sing the refrain over and over. I enjoyed the song mostly because of its beautiful melody.

Fast forward thirty years later to 2009 and I am now living the song. Now I understand why the adults would not tire of singing the refrain.......it had meaning. We are living in tough financial times and there is a lot of fear and uncertainty about the future. Many people have lost the bulk of their assets with no hope of rebuilding.

In theory I know that material things are short lived but it still hurts when there is a loss. I have to remind myself that through it all my family and I are still healthy.

Bringing Simple Back

Nothing is something

..........As a specie we have not evolved from the Darwinian theory of survival of the fittest. It is no longer a rat race but a fight of the Super Dogs. Everyone is smart, educated and hip on their game. It's a matter of who has the bigger bite. The average person works the better part of day light for five days a week. That would be palatable for the short term. But for most of us it is a sixty five year plan and we still end up with minimum resources. There was a time when humans lived for centuries and their daily existence was supplied with basic items. Not so any more. We need to have high end goods to meet our daily needs. Hence we work long hours to supply things that we think are necessary to make our lives richer.

I firmly believe that we were not created to ' race through life at a frenzied pace". Life is a once in a life time event yet we spend so much of our time in a destructive manner. We have evolved into a nation of "must haves" which leaves little room for enjoying life. People look at you strange if you do not have the latest smart phone or video game. It behoves me as to why a cell phone has more features than a car!

I am a proponent of change but I also believe that there should be a limit. People's wants have more than surpassed their need. The concept of 'upgrading' and 'trading in' has done a superb job of camouflaging big spending. The business owners are more than happy to fulfill our desire for more. And we have used our meager earnings to propel them into the class of the uba -rich. We have become a nation of visual shoppers and will move mountains to have the latest technological device. Mindless spending has resulted in a negative impact on our qualitly of life. Here, I must quote the classic cliche "less is more".


The common belief is that we are more advanced that our ancestors but nothing could be further from the truth. Our forefathers did a lot of manual labor yet they found time to enjoy the finer things of life. They wrote poetry, painted masterpieces, sewed hand made quilts, told stories and built strong family bonds. This was accomplished because they had an appreciation for the intangible things of life and they balanced this with exquisite time mangement skill.


Our ancestors knew when it was time to lay down their work tools and go home. Then they would spend time resting and enjoying this thing called Nature which was created by God for humans. In our present century we have tons of time saving device and less time to enjoy the time that we saved with our device.

Utopia Moment -Living a simple life does not mean a poor existence.

Mosquito Knows Best

A few days ago my preteen daughter told me a story about mosquitoes. But before I continue with the mosquito story let me tell you a little bit about my daughter. She is an avid reader who is very good at Social Studies, however she has a knack for the whimsical.

Story - Apparently mosquitoes have a unique ability to determine the stress levels of their human victims and they stay away from those who are highly stressed.

Let me pause again to fill you in on a little more detail. My daughter is aware of the fact that for many years I have been mosquitoes favorite food. But for the past two summers I have not been their meal of choice.

When I received this tid bit on the secret lives of mosquitoes it took me a minute to process this information. Was my daughter sharing an obvious fact with me about my stress levels or was she telling me that I was fortunate to be off the mosquito menu?

What a conundrum!!

M.Y.O.B

The best recepie is the one that you create

from the movie "No Reservation"

Every year I take at least a week off from my 9 to 5 so that I can catch up with myself. This is usually a staycation (vs a vacation) where I stay home and attempt to declutter my surroundings. Two of the values that I am teaching my children is the importance of timeliness and organization. Needless to say I am still a work in progress, however I maintain a framework of order so that we do not fall into total disrepair.

When issues are resolved in a timely fashion it reduces the build up of a monstrous "to do" list. Conversely, I could easily run myself ragged by trying to complete every task once they arise. At times I am walking that thin line of deciding to rest from a long day of work or just fall headlong into the cozy arms of procrastination. This is when I stop and "self collect" so that
I can make the most appropriate decisions.

Over the years I have learnt to constantly "self collect" This is my abbreviated form of meditation which I use as a pick- me -upper to get me through a slump. I can usually self collect while on the run, because if I stop to do a full blown fifteen minute meditation I will fall asleep.

Working moms (in and outside the home) master the art of Strategic Planning so that our time is used efficiently. We have this built in GPS system that we use to plan our day so that we maxamize both time and energy. Gone are the days when we just hit the Mall and stop at any store we please. Oh no, we usually start with a mental note of the physical location of each store and then we "push pin" the order in which we will get to each one. Time of day is usaully a factor, because we have to avoid long lines and rush traffic so that we are home on time to meet the school bus and begin our real job of tending to the kids.

It is a great feeling to have a clean and organized house; the trick is to maintain it during the everyday unexpected events that occur when there are small children around. When my physical surroundings is 'organized" it has a calming effect on my mental state. As I grow older I am learning the value of taking time to "mind my own business" This is when I actively review and create a POA for my self and my family.

Utopia Moment - There is a German quote that says - "Too soon old, too late smart" I am a living testament to that quote because the older I get the wiser I become but alas, I am too old to make good use of my new found wisdom. The next best thing is to pass on that wisdom to my children and maybe they will learn a thing or two.

A Baby and a Brain

Women were born to seve but we are not the main course

Christiane Northrup

Who knew that the fastest way to start loosing your mind was to have a baby. Years ago when I was expecting my first child I read one of those "mommy books" and in it they said that one of the side effects of being pregnant is memory loss. I thought the author was going a bit overboard, but alas ........she was right! Not only did my memory become sluggish, it just got up and walked right out the door.

When I had my second child I would joke with my friends and tell them that at each child birth I lost brain cells with the expulsion of the placenta. Guess what? They totally agreed because they felt the same way. I was not alone.

Now that I have kid number three, I have diagnosed myself with Junior Alzheimer's. The prognosis is not good because as the kids get bigger my memory gets weaker. Each day I have to make a conscious decision to "think" Its very similar to pusing a car, the car is moving not because the driver is sitting behind the wheel and operating the car; but he is behind the car with his hands on the rear bumper, pushing. Yep, that would be me and my brain. I am constantly trying to jump start it.......without cables.

The perfect solution would be for expecting moms to grow a brain during the nine month gestation period. This new brain would service the needs of the new baby while leaving the original brain free. We all know that is not going to happen. Not to despair I have found a solution, I use the kid's brains. They are the reason why I am in this sad state of desrepair anyway. I usually say, Tommy remind mummy to do so and so. Guess what, he does.

Utopia Moment : Seriously though, my life has changed since having children. There are more good days than bad but it takes proper planning and a lot of flexibility in order to remain sane.

The List

A great discovery does not issue from a scientist brain ready-made like Minerva springing fully armed from Jupiter's head; it is the fruit of an accumulation of preliminary work.

Marie Curie

Similar to moms everywhere, I lead I very busy life with various roles. On any given day I transition from being a wife, mother, daughter, employee, friend, sister,cousin etc. Some days, I am so exhausted that my brain goes on strike and refuse to work anymore. Its amazing to know just how many people are trying to control my time. This is not a deliberate control: but takes the form of soliciting assistance or receiving companionship. I experience extreme stress just trying to maintain a modicum of sanity. There is so much to do and so little time.


For a long time I have toyed with the idea of making a list of all the things that I do so that I could reorganize my schedule. A few days ago I finally made the list. The result was a huge job description that would require the services of a small army to complete all of the tasks. I was completely blown away. I know that I did a lot of stuff; yet I had no idea I did that much. No wonder I was always in a state of stress!


Strangely enough I felt a sense of relief because this list was proof that I was not overreacting about my high level of exhaustion. I had spent so many years berating myself for not being good enough; of course not, I was overloaded. On a more serious note, this list was a wake up call for me to consciously make some lifestyle changes. From now on I have to hone my skills at delegating and constructive procrastination. More importantly, I will create more white space on my calendar.

Utopia Moment - I am taking back my power from all the sources to which it has been dispersed. This is not an attempt to be selfish or insular but to become more focused. I have learnt that I cannot control time but I can control my energy.